I felt the need to bring this to everyone’s attention because, well lets face it, zombies deserve to get laid as much as anyone. I’m setting up my account for when I die, because there is no doubt in my mind that when it happens I will come back ten times more powerful and destroy the world, but I don’t wanna do it alone. I need someone to be with me when I’m a zombie, so that our spirits won’t have to bone in the afterlife.

Zombie fetisheseseseses are gonna be the new wave… I’m callin’ it… you’re welcome. Zombie porn is a thing I know this, as is vampire porn, because for whatever reason people like getting bit. I’m not here to judge, though I feel the variety of different… ‘perversions’ shows the utter insanity in our very nature. Even implying that we have a single nature, one idea that unifies us as a species; this idea of unification is bizarre… not as bizarre as zombie porn, but still. No matter how hard you try to label humanity, every definition falls short. Can anyone really link in a coherent fashion Einstein’s Relativity and… zombie porn. I surely would not want to meet this person, as such logic is beyond the greatest of human minds. Maybe a more deranged mind could figure it out… maybe I’m thinking too hard and there’s somebody out there who gets it. No doubt, he’s preaching on a soapbox in Times Square wearing his underwear as a protective helmet against demon Jedi mindtricks. Trust this guy with your life… no doubt he WON’T lead you astray.

Everyone has at least one doubt within us that there is any coherent bond within the world and it is fortified by the utter chaos we are bombarded by on a daily basis. To not have this doubt, that is crazy. When everything seems to be flowing beyond our control, we reach for the bizarre and it somehow becomes the norm. Normal is a made up word, as they all are, but it has no concrete meaning. Normal is relative, what we must worry about is when our crazy/normals collide. See, for example, the Crusades, 9/11, and any number of the horror movies I watch. You live long enough on this planet and you realize normal is only hindered by the craziest thing you can imagine.


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