It’s still a pretty sore subject, but I’d better talk it out before it eats me alive. Okay… here goes… I finally broke down and bought a movie I’ve been wanting to see. Normally, as a rule, I don’t buy movies, since there are so many viable options. Netflix let me down and did not have it; I guess since the network with thousands of movies on it didn’t have it I should have taken that as a warning. Sure, there will be people who will say, I shouldn’t complain, because it was on sale for ten ninety-five? I don’t care… I’m still gonna, because this is America and when you put out a crappy product an American should have the right to his money back!
This IS America and I want my M-O-N-E-Y back! I refuse to let Hollywood sexually assault my senses with their vulgarity; I took a chance with your crappy movie and lost, oh well time to give up! NO! Tyrants do NOT get away with their bullshit in this country! I want a redo! Gimme my money back! The government should have some kind of warning system in place for this situation, a rotten tomatoes run by certified government agents! How about we appoint a panel of Bruce Campbell… Stephen King… John Carpenter… Elvira (Since she’s seen her share of crappy movies) and Tom Savini. They’ll oversee the quality of every horror movie to pass as credible and themselves be the judges of their quality. Something has to happen; I’m no longer speaking for myself anymore… this is about all of us. We’ve all wasted our money on a movie that will never pay off; it hurts, because it’s like the actors, the directors and producers are all lying to us. Hollywood stop lying… oh yeah, and give me my mother F@#$ing ten dollars back!
Five Movies That Are MY Mortal Enemies
5) Original and Remake of Last House on the Left – not into rape, not into porn… okay, just not into this crapfest.
4) The Hills Have Eyes I & II – Wasted my money in theatres on this piece of SH@#
3) Excision – not the worst that I bought… good for you!
2) Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2 and Haunted World of El Superbeasto – Strike one and two Rob Zombie… one and two
1) The Village – the movie that inspired me to make M. Night Shyamalan my mortal enemy. Keep up the bad work big guy!
Probably not the worst of the worst, but a few that hurt me in a way I want to seek revenge and murder them… hey, that could be an idea for a crappy movie!!!