It's either the lead singer from Pantera, one of the clowns from 'Killer Clowns from Outer Space'... or Amanda Bynes.

It’s either the lead singer from Pantera, one of the clowns from ‘Killer Clowns from Outer Space’… or Amanda Bynes.

Though some people won’t admit it, one of the great moments of any horror movie is when they finally reveal the great evil that is plaguing these innocent bystanders, to which we have become as witness to their great fight for survival. It’s almost as if we want to be told what the great evil is, like we can’t figure out that in ‘Paranormal Activity‘, or the many sequels that are now out and will be out, that the monster is a ghost, or how about in ‘The Giant Gila Monster‘… need I say more. If you didn’t figure out what the monster is, or what it looks like… then maybe YOU”RE the monster! What a twist! Surprise endings can suck too, especially when they come in the form of child stars that seem to be imploding.

Oh, Amanda Bynes… what is happening to you… Amanda, manda, manda, manda shooooowowoowooowowow! Nope, still goin’ crazy? Well, I did my part. Chances are this is just another child star who won’t make it. What I can’t figure out is that if it is something genetic that happens to certain people under the conditions of a Hollywood lifestyle, or if Hollywood itself is some kind of massive horror story playing out to the Biblical Sodom and Gomorrah. If that’s true, then I owe a LOT of preachers a few written letters of apology. I think I’ll wait on that, while I try to get people to donate to my research on the subject. What I find even more Mine?terrifying is that this goolish looking creature can be born from this… to the right, pal.—>

One of the worst things about this picture is we know the outcome. There’s nothing worse than seeing the train coming, but not being able to stop it and sometimes, though Hollywood can come up with a few good ideas… the real creativity of the world is few and far between. Sometimes the bad guys do win… sometimes the monsters that infect us… sometimes they overrun the earth. Starship Troopers or not, sometimes the hero does not make it. Maybe the greatest sin Hollywood has to offer, with all of its beautiful people, is that a person with great dreams can be too hopeful. Sure, we can see the humor in a giant gila monster attacking, but when the nightmare becomes reality and there is nothing you can do to stop it… there’s something more terrifying than the monster. The monster comes to represent the utter helplessness that a life can inspire. It can represent a loss of hope, the victory of fear over a decent world… a loss of a decent human being to an unspeakable lunacy. In all honesty, did she get in touch with the doctor who did Michael Jackson’s nose and think ‘Yeah, this is gonna work!’

Seeing this utter helplessness, or seeing the nightmare made reality in any horror movie helps to remind us that the point of life is to live beyond such fear. Everyone knows that the Amanda Bynes monster does not exist… or does it? If you allow fear to take you, then the terrorists win. Freddy Krueger and Jason aren’t real, but there are monsters in this world and it is good that horror movies remind us of this, though the scenario might be hyper-real, the simulation is still valid for our appreciation.


2 responses to “KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!

  1. The whole child star implosion isn’t inevitable, just ask Ron Howard or Jodie Foster. Even Disney stars seem to have a fair chance – Raven Simone and Anne Hathaway seem to be doing okay (although I wish Anne would eat a sandwich once in a while). But there does seem to be a specific path of destruction that some of these people fall into and you’re right, it ends pretty much the same way.

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