2) Disney is to Pedophiles, as the Necronomicon is to the Dead

Seems legit

Seems legit

If I could get more donations I promise everyone I could search better places for the Necronomicon. Granted, I haven’t asked for money, but is that really necessary for this level of dedication? On a routine excursion in Disney World I ran into an odd occurrence; odd, hopefully for Disney World. The dead didn’t dance, but a truly disturbing sight I did see, as a gentlemen came up to two ladies and offered to take a picture of their kids. The women, thinking the man meant to take a picture with THEIR camera of them with THEIR kids gratefully obliged. The man took a step back and proceeded to take a few pictures of the ladies’ kids, as they posed uncomfortably against the back drop of playful dinosaurs with happy, smiling faces. The mothers looked on in horror, as the man smiled and politely thanked them, then was on his way. Everyone saw and everyone watched. What a world we live in… couldn’t find the Necronomicon though… good times.

Not entirely sure what to make of the fact that the happiest place on earth could entice such predators, it makes you wonder if there is an aura, or an unwritten wisdom that attracts people to certain energies. Sure, everyone knows kids will be at Disney World, but what if there is a sort of undercurrent that attracts people into different traps, or palaces, or dangerous places. Perhaps, a person could think they are setting out on an adventure, they wouldn’t even know why they are going; maybe there is a powerful force that moves the world, maybe even several forces that move for good, for evil, or even self satisfaction. With so many energies, how could a human being know of which energy to follow; how could we know what is right and wrong in such a savage world? Can we listen to our heart if it is filled with the energy of the Necronomicon, or a place filled with negative energy; our fields could become so strained that our wits would not be about us. Somehow, we must find the right energies to guide ourselves and to guide the world. Maybe then, we will synchronize with this power and set the world in harmony.

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1) So… New Orleans is a NO

UrsulineConvent
Don’t worry, I checked all around New Orleans for the Necronomicon… and only with a respectable buzz to keep me vigilant. I checked Bourbon Street, the Garden District, Canal… really all of the French Quarter and found nothing. Boy, with so much hard work I’m really gonna need a vacation! Vacation? There is no time when you’re a hard workin’ guy like me on a quest for a book that can be the ruin of the universe! I must save the blah blah blah and such.

The one link I found was the Ursuline Convent, or if you’d prefer, nunnery. I don’t… ‘nunnery’ is a stupid word, but the story behind the convent seems a bit suspicious. The French were failing to establish New Orleans as a center for Catholicism and decided to pimp out their own women, so they sent over a few girls to set up roots and establish a few Catholic families that could spread out and overtake the city. After a long journey over the ocean, it doesn’t matter how hot a woman is, she will look like death. The girls got off the boats and looked less than attractive, giving way to tales of vampirism, which only worsened when the onlookers saw the ‘casket’ shaped boxes the girls used to carry their things.

In no time, the experiment failed and the young girls were raped, or otherwise exploited and sent back to France. The girls left, but their carry-ons were rumored to remain at the convent, which was eventually established into a library of sorts for the Catholic diocese. People believe there were vampires smuggled into New Orleans, but I see no reason it could not have been something even more dangerous; perhaps the father of all evil, the book itself.

Feeding into the allure of the vampire claiming sanctuary in the convent is the belief that at night the shutters of the third floor mysteriously open. Legend tells that to safeguard against this, the church barricaded the windows by nailing them shut with nails and screws blessed by the pope himself. Not sure how blessed nails keep anything at bay, or why anyone would need them… can you find them at Wal-mart?

It would make sense that the girls would be able to keep chapters of the book in their ‘caskets’, or even one could’ve hidden the book and smuggled it along. I would expect that the book was divided between the girls, so as to stave off the madness hidden within; no doubt, a voyage as long as one from France to America would be enough to drive any traveler to madness. This could explain the sickly look of the girls when they arrived, though ‘sea-sickness’ is enough of an answer. The fact that the convent serves as a library seems convenient… maybe if I had been willing to break in and look around for a while I would’a found the book, though an account from the seventies tells that those who waited to see if the windows would open at night were killed and drained of most of their blood.

Could have been a sacrifice to the Necronomicon, as the daemons it could summon would need every ounce of blood to make it one night on Bourbon Street.